Partner Behaving Like My $3000 Laptop Is His!!?
I have a laptop I bought 3-4 years ago before I met my partner, it has been running great for years.
I haven’t had the internet connected to it as I’m very conscious of viruses and such and I don’t like file sharing sofware either due to the high security risk and am very fussy as to what I install on it
anyway he decides to ring the phone company and get the internet, after a huge arguement I say to him let me update everything first as everything is out of date (windows security updates, anti-virus and anti-spyware) I also say to him let me install the modem myself.
modem gets delivered, I come home from work, he’s on his backside downloading music on limewire! leaving a gaping huge hole in my firewall!
furthermore notm only installing limewire he installed firefox which has messed up my internet explorer settings once again blowing a gaping huge hole in my internet security, downloaded burning software when I already had a program on there that GOES with my CD drive DRIVER, the cd drive is functioning at half capacity read and burn speed is really slow.
I ran Ccleaner to clean up all the files after restoring my computer and uninstalling all his programs to no avail; Ccleaner found remnants of porn!! furthermore antivirus found the same files and can’t remove them, I’m constantly having to run antivirus, ad-aware, Ccleaner, defragmenter, disk cleaner you name it just to free up ram oh and spybot stopped working too.
every morning we wake up the first thing he does is turn the laptop on and when I come home from work at 6pm at night I find it still to be on, even though I tell him to turn it off when not in use he just leaves it on.
I’m contemplating that I’m going to have a huge power bill and a huge repair bill on my hands for my computer, he doesn’t care.
he eats by it, drinks by it and I’m sure never leaves it and says I’m a sook when I complain the housework isn’t done when I’m at work!
it’s only been connected a week but through surfing the internet, downloading and whatever he’s consumed at least 25% of my hard drive space.
the CPU now always seems to run at 100% and nothing I can do can get it back to what it was before he installed limewire, not even system restore.
I’m at loss, I can’t even play the Sims anymore without the computer freezing, before limewire and the rest of it there was never a problem.
it’s even wrecking our sex life, I won’t gross out with details but let’s just say porn has given him unrealistic ideas in bed and he can’t get any enjoyment unless hes going at it without a condom which is always against my wishes I don’t know if I should report him for rape.
our finances are taking a beating too, when there’s bills to be paid, it’s always “I’ll pay my share”,then pay day comes round and it’s like “I’m buying a slab” (of beer)
I feel that I’m living with a bachelor that has no respect for me or my property at all, I’m at loss for what to do.
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12 Responses to “Partner Behaving Like My $3000 Laptop Is His!!?”
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From a computer system admin’s perspective:
Get the ESET Total protection Suite. Enable the firewall and password the settings, so someone can’t change it.
Firefox is actually about 1000 times safer that Internet Exploder, so he may have actually done you a favor there.
Get him a computer that’s just for him. Take your laptop back from him.
From the standpoint of a Man:
You must be a very attractive woman. Attractive women put up with men that act like children because they prefer men that look good, over intelligence. An intelligent man would not treat you this way. Kick him to the curb and find a man that is more appreciative.
Take it back, lay down the law that it is yours and he is not to touch/modify it without your permission…
Remove the software in question ………
Set a password on your user id and be done with it.
In all fairness, it is yours.
You need to keep your laptop safe, he has no right to mess with the way you have your computer set up.
If he really is more annoying to live with then you might have to dump him.
stop posting crap up about me on yahoo answers otherwise i will report to your boss that you havent been doing your work and have been looking up other sites
you need to move and do not him him where.
What a freeloading creep. Really.
Get a boyfriend upgrade!
Password protect your computer, don’t let him use it.
If he wants a computer he can buy his own. The laptop is yours.
first off. find out what the provider is. don’t ask him. second off, terminate the connection. if they ask for what costumer you are it should relate to your phone number. costumer service solves all things. /about porn, i’m not going to say much about it but if he openly admits to looking it up it should be a safe topic. if not u NEED to get a program that locks it off, if and WHEN you reinstall everything from the virus you apparently have(just pop in the windows cd) make a seperate account for him thats a guest account(meaning he cant install squat). and set up a very devent password that he’ll not find soon. clarify that it’s your computer and stick to it, average male attention span is one minute so eventually it will stick. final stop, are you both working? if he’s not working he better be but, anyhoo tell him if he continues to jack around to go get his own ‘$-figure’ computer. at all costs find a techy to help u out locally. that way its ‘his’ ‘fault’ that your partner cant do anyrthing, if he asks you can’t install anything else either.
Get rid of him now. You don’t need this and he’s acting like a spoiled brat. The whole sex thing concerns me. Is he taking you by force? If he is that’s rape. You need him out of there now. Look for a new room mate, maybe a girl to share the bills and rent. take your computer in and get all of the crap he has downloaded taken off. He’s a loser sweetie and you can do better. You don’t deserve this stress.
Tell him what you just wrote. I also understand that it is your computer, but you really should loosen up. It is just a computer and you have to decide what is more important, your computer or your relationship. You will also not have a huge power bill from the computer being left on all day. And since it is a laptop and you are worried about it during the day, why not just carry it with you?
Sounds like the use of your laptop may be the least of your problems. We all teach people how to treat us. Stand up for yourself now or you will doom your relationship to this “disrespectful” behavior. Addressing the issue now in an honest and calm way should either clear up the situation or give you the signal to clear out. Leaving the situation as it is and doing nothing will only teach your partner that the way they are treating you is acceptable to you, and I promise you it will get worse not better from there.
i think you should end it. i know it sounds harsh and not just because of the laptop. its the respect level that he has for you. he’s showing you the the laptop is just the beginning. it’s the warning sign that all those relationship books warn you about. it’s like a snowball. first the laptop, then the house work, then the bills, then your car, then your friends..it’s not gonna be pretty and all your gonna do is wish you had gotten rid of him sooner. i’ve been there and it was almost the exact same story except it started with the abuse of my well kept car and his lack of respect for that. just the fact that he doesnt care for your things or your safety (no condoms) and doesnt even attempt to get his own laptop or whatever is another minus. it will be hard but dump this dude or you WILL regret it!